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Embarking on a Relationship With Someone Is a Bit Like Going Sailing Together
Sailing through life with someone alongside you is one of life’s great pleasures, and some basic knowledge can help to make sure you don’t sink or get lost. These are mostly things which they don’t...
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I’m Going to Try Some ‘Man Make-up’ on My Next First Date
I recently had the painful experience of being rejected after a first date by a series of women that I met on Match.com. I’m under no illusions that I’m the kind of man who’d turn female heads when I...
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How I Learned to Avoid ‘Wishful Dating’
Imagining we can see what we hope and want to see, even when it’s not there, is one of the stranger tendencies we hu-mans have – especially when it comes to the opposite sex. It’s probably only matched...
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Why I’ve Needed to Believe I Was ‘Right’
Possibly no-one is as obstinate in their views, and as resistant to change, as a man who knows in his heart that he’s mistaken and is having that pointed out to him – especially if it’s by a woman! But...
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Giving Up Drinking Helped Me Have a Real Relationship With Myself
There’s a lot of advice out there about the importance of accepting and ‘loving’ ourselves. And that’s good, because feeling positive about who you are is an essential state of mind for being able to...
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A Powerful Way I’ve Found to Make the World a Happier Place
Until recently, I think I was always looking for what I felt I needed from the world, emotionally and materially; things like friendship, love, status, reassurance, comfort, and security. For sure we...
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Ten of the Best Lessons Life Has Taught Me
Remembering these helps me steer my life-boat through even the biggest storms. 1. There are reptiles out there that look like humans – watch out! It’s estimated that one per cent of the population...
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Are You an ‘Over-Eager People Pleaser’ (O.E.P.P.) When You Meet Someone New?
Here’s a checklist to help you find out if you are one – and if so, what you can do about it. 5 characteristics of an OEPP When you meet someone new, you usually make the first move. You try to...
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My Five Favourite Love Hacks
It seems true the everything we do is an attempt to meet our needs, and this is especially true with an intimate partner. I think our relationship needs can be divided into two types: the ones that we...
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Let’s Resolve Together to Reduce Male Gender Violence in 2024
As we head into a New Year, I think it’s more important than ever that we try to understand why some men act violently towards women. Because it’s only when we can sidestep any collective shame we...
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This Older Man’s Five Top Tips for Surviving Life With a Smile
Living well doesn’t have to be complicated! I’ve found that my daily mental wellbeing is boosted by a combination of keeping myself in perspective – remembering that I have no more, and no less,...
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My Recent ‘Failure’ at Sex as an Older Man Was Just What I Needed
Having been single for a few years, I recently met a lovely woman, and after a few very enjoyable dates we decided to spend the night together. It was a really good experience in every way except for...
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Why I’ve Stopped Comparing My Privates With Other Men’s
In the past, whenever I’ve been in the presence of other unclothed men at the gym changing room or some such, it wouldn’t be long before I’d be trying to sneak a quick peek at their family jewels – and...
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It’s Natural to Want Freedom and Commitment at the Same Time
It’s a natural hu-man instinct to want to have our cake and to eat it. But when it’s the cake of commitment, and we have a partner who thinks that we’re ready to build a long-term relationship with...
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Honesty Is Definitely the Best Policy When Ending a Relationship
Most people would agree that trust is the best foundation for a healthy relationship, and the basis for the other important things like respect and reassurance. Having made the mistake of doing my...
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Many Women Don’t Realize How Much Reassurance Most Men Need
A big secret that many of us men keep from our partners is how insecure we can feel about whether we‘re scoring highly enough on the man-scale (whatever that means for us – whether it’s status, money,...
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The Harm Caused by Men Who Are Violent to Their Partners Doesn’t Stop With...
Abusive men don’t just hurt their partners They also create challenges for the men those women meet later. The harm caused by men who are violent to their partners doesn’t stop with the women who’ve...
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In Our Hearts, Many of Us Men Feel Like Failures
I stopped drinking more than a year ago and I’ve been enjoying the many benefits, including sleeping better and feeling more comfortable in my own skin – although that only came after facing up to...
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From ‘Having Sex’ to ‘Making Love’
As I wrote in a recent column here, after ‘doing sex’ in mostly the same way for the past sixty years, I found that my arousal was becoming a lot less predictable. But I’m happy to share with you...
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I Believe That Fear and Insecurity Are at the Root of Most Male Gender Violence
Looking at the statistics, it’s clear that men’s mental health in the U.K. is not generally very good. Suicide is the number one cause of death for men under fifty, and every day the news has some...
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