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Releasing the Fear of Not Being ‘Man Enough’ Leads to Greater Intimacy

Embed from Getty Images Many men are blocked from being better lovers because of fear of failure and the taboo we have on talking about those fears. — One of the benefits of getting older—as some...

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True Love Never Runs Smooth, but why Would You Want it To?

Embed from Getty Images How to turn hurts and misunderstandings into ways that make your relationship stronger. ___ When something goes wrong in a relationship—there is pain. One person upset for some...

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Beneath a Veneer of Superiority, are Many Men Afraid of Women?

Embed from Getty Images Looking at superheroes of all kinds, from Clark to Clint or James, it seems that the kind of iconic male role models that men (and women) are most impressed by have one thing...

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Are Many Men Narcissists At Heart?

Embed from Getty Images There’s a lot of talk about ‘narcissists’ these days – and there seem to be plenty around, especially in politics! But descriptions of narcissistic behaviour also pretty much...

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I Have a Confession

I thought of myself as a ‘feminist man’; an ally to women; a guy who opposed sexism in any way I could. And my credentials were pretty good! I’ve been involved with men’s groups for the past 25 years,...

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What My New Stepson has Taught Me About Toxic Masculinity

— My wife is a survivor from a long-term abusive marriage. Her ex was a violent alcoholic who succeeded in intimidating and manipulating her to the extent that she had pretty well given up on her life,...

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Men’s ‘Inner Eden’

— Any woman wanting to connect more deeply with her man – so he’ll want to make love with her and not just ‘have sex’ – needs to understand the hidden vulnerability which may well be lurking under his...

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Nine Ways a Woman Can Win a Man’s Heart

— Women friends have often told me how frustrating it is for them when a man they like and respect, and who apparently also enjoys their company and is attracted to them, suddenly disappears behind a...

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My 16 ‘Rules’ for Living as a Better Man

— The Top 3 1. Do no harm – to any living thing, especially other people and including everything on our fragile planet; and if I do inadvertently cause damage, own up and try to repair it. 2. Do what...

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It Seems That Different Genders are Not so Different After All

— New research into the nature of what is male or female is revealing that many ‘gender differences’ have more to do with how boys and girls are raised and socialised, and the expectations placed on us...

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One of the Most Important Love Lessons I Have (Finally) Learned

— One of the most difficult parts for me of learning about love and intimacy has been realizing – and accepting – that my partner’s needs, and her experience of the world, may be very different to...

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What My Marriage Means to Me

— I want my epitaph to say: “He Loved Well”; not just “He Meant well” I want to listen closely enough to my partner to be sure that I know what she needs from me, and not just rely on what I think she...

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These Four Words Are Guaranteed to Supercharge Your Love Life

— I know. It sounds unlikely. But trust me! First and foremost, I’m not going to make you read through this whole article to find out that those four words are:  “What turns you on”? OK, so far so...

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The Simple Way I Turn What Might Become Angry Arguments Into Loving...

— What is this simple way to avoid turning disagreements into arguments? It boils down to one thing:  changing statements which begin with ‘you’, to start with ‘I’ instead! In other words, if I’m...

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My Five Simple Steps to Having Better Sex!

— I’ll start with a confession. One that might make me seem like completely the wrong person to be writing on the topic of ‘good sex’. I found out not so long ago that, in spite of having had my fair...

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Twelve Things I Can Do to Combat Male Gender Violence

— I only recently found out that gender abuse is the number one health issue for women, world-wide  – greater than war, accidents and disease combined! I found this shocking. And I’m sure that if the...

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Some Men Behave Like Zombies – The Walking Emotionally Dead And Dangerous

— From where I’m standing, it seems that the relatively small number of men who abuse women either don’t realise what harm they cause, or have shut down their feelings to the extent that they don’t...

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Balancing the Inevitable Contradictions of Being a Hu-man

— Although I’ve always been as keen as anyone to find more peace of mind, my involvement with ‘spirituality’ has been tenuous, to say the least. I’ve dipped into various groups and schools of thought...

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Are Men Naturally ‘Good’?

— In my experience, most men are essentially ‘good’, even though our potential goodness can get distorted into ‘bad’ behaviours, for all kinds of reasons. And most of us can be trained or nudged into...

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I Benefited in My Relationships From Other Men’s ‘Bad’ Behaviour– I Just...

— I’ve always been pretty sure of myself as a ‘good’ man, one who has tried to treat girlfriends and partners ‘well’  – although I’m not sure if being emotionally distant and serially walking away from...

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